I have currently locked myself in the bathroom at a strangers house. I suppose you want to know why…
You have no idea how excited I was when I was invited to this house party. Not only do these people live 5 minutes away, meaning I don’t have to pay for a taxi home BUT I was informed that nobody there would be drinking wine which meant that I could take my fancy wine to the party and I wouldn’t feel obliged to share! MISSJBEDARD DOES NOT SHARE WINE!!!
I’ve had this bottle in my room for about two months… it’s just been sitting there staring at me, begging me to drink it at 8am everyday. It’s been a difficult two months.
About 15 minutes ago, THE GIRL invites me in, introduces me to some local weirdos (hopefully none of them read my blog…) and then offers to uncork my date for the evening.
She disappears for a minute… then comes back- empty-handed and tells me the cork broke in half and it’s still inside the bottle. OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! Being the considerate guest that I am I told her “You better fix this… I’m going to go to the toilet now and when I come back it’s going to be fixed.” AND SHE SAID (wait til you hear this!) ” I love you Jordan, you’re so funny!” EHM! EXCUSE ME! DO I LOOK LIKE I’M TRYING TO BE FUNNY HERE??? B**CH YOU BETTER HAVE A LARGE GLASS OF MERLOT OUT FOR ME WHEN I GET BACK!! OH.. MY.. WORD. so.. as soon as I post this I have to get out of the bathroom. I hate socializing.. I should have drunk that wine this morning.
On the plus side, there is a man downstairs with a glorious tweed jacket when I get nice and wined I shall barter with him for it.
missjbedard 
i hope to god you actually posted this from the bathroom. and that you managed to get to the wine eventually:)